lupus pilum mutat, non mentem

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lupus pilum mutat, non mentem i'm kaleb.
i kinda just post my poetry and feelings here.
go away.

“the sound
of my grand mothers
television
bleeds though the walls
of the house
as she sits in front
and struggles to hear.”

273
#poem   #poetry   #grandma   #grandparents   #grand mother   #grandmother   #oma   #television   #tv   #bleeds   #sound   #age   #aging   #dying   #deaf   #hearing loss   #sux  

“life is sad.
people die,
people leave,
your life gets better,
while the world gets worse.
people with power
always want more
and the people without,
struggle.
the things in the dark
are still there
when you close your eyes,
and nothing in this world
will ever make you feel
like a new man
and the world
just keeps on turning
as if nothing
has ever
happened.”

269
#poem   #poetry   #life   #sad   #feelings   #thoughts   #emotions   #new   #lie   #cheat   #leave   #die   #death   #world   #turning   #goes   #on   #dark   #eyes   #shit   #shut   #things   #power   #struggle   #money   #corruption  

FF. Ryden. NC-17/R.

Title: Too late.
Author: kvonnegut
Rating: NC-17 
Pairing: Ryan Ross/Brendon Urie (Ryden)
POV: 3rd, Brendon centric
Summary: PWP. Blow jobs. 
Disclaimer: man i ain’t makin’ any money and no harm meant.
Author Notes: 1,800 words.

“Ryan, can I talk to you for a second?” Brendon asked. They had finished their set about twenty minutes ago. Spencer and Jon were heading to the bus to shower and change before the after party. Ryan was about to stand and watch the headlining band’s set before Brendon called.

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“i was driving back
from my friends house.
i stopped at a light
and the last car
through the intersection
was a big, red truck.
as it crossed
and went up a bump
a shirtless,
gagged,
bound man
sat up in the
bed of the truck,
and shook his head.
i turned to the car
next to me
and i yelled at them
“there was a man
tied up.
in the bed
of the red truck.
there was a man tied up.”
the man did nothing.
the light turned green,
someone impatient honked.
I made the next
right i could
and drove through the
shopping centre parking lot
they pulled in to
but i saw no sign
of the big, red truck.”

266
#this just happened   #poem   #poetry   #driving   #truck   #person   #man   #gagged   #kidnapped   #crime   #what   #did   #i   #whitness   #inaction   #red truck   #big   #red   #intersection   #red light   #stop   #head   #cars   #parking lot   #orlando  

“the house across the street
is abandoned
except for the birds
and the crows
who seem to flock
to the emptiness.”

264
#poem   #poetry   #house   #abandonment   #abandoned   #birds   #crows   #emptiness   #empty   #queue  

for my brother. short story, 2k words.

#short story   #prose   #2000 words   #brothers   #death   #wake   #funeral   #twins   #life   #smoking   #murder   #family   #mirror   #ghost   #relfection   #change   #suicide  

“sometimes it all
feels so still and
moving all to quickly
at the same time
i just want to scream
and blow my brains out
in one fell swoop.”

259

“no matter what we drink
or fill our bodies with
time will never again
feel eternal.
there is always a clock
ticking in the back
of our minds.
or at least mine.
maybe it’s just me.
i’m just too aware
and unable to forget.
fuck”

260
#poem   #poetry   #time   #life   #eternal   #drink   #drunk   #drugs   #drunkenness   #drinking   #clocks   #ticking   #forget   #Remember   #remembering   #minds   #back   #aware   #queue  

“part of me wants
someone to coddle
and love me.
to care about how
things make me feel
but i don’t have that.
i only have myself
i will do it all
myself.
does that make me
stronger
or weaker?”

261

“driving past
an exit on the
interstate
where we got off once
“are you sure” i asked,
“yeah” you reassured me
in the memory.
these flashes
are all i have of you.
i will try to keep
your eyes a
shining blue
but i can’t promise anything.”

258